US Politics | The shambolic Festival Of Brexit proves why the Government should never run anything
BACK at the beginning of the century, the Government decided they would celebrate the new era by building an enormous and very clever tent on reclaimed land in Greenwich. However, this being a government project, they decided to fill the so-called Millennium Dome with a "faith zone" and various proto-woke ideas featuring lots of recycled cardboard and homosexuals dangling from bits of string. 
SWNS, says Jeremy Clarkson '/ ' 
EPAIt was intended as a nationwide celebration of what Britain would look like after leaving the EU '/ ' It was a total disaster. Fewer than half the anticipated number of visitors turned up, so the building was handed over to the private sector who replaced the Blairite nonsense with Fleetwood Mac and Led Zeppelin and turned it into a success. After that, you'd imagine that the Government would never again be allowed to run "exciting" exhibitions that no one wants. 'Fraid not. Because they recently decided to take £120million of our money and use it to create the Festival Of Brexit, a nationwide celebration of what Britain would look like after leaving the EU. Now, if you or I were charged with the task of doing such a thing, there'd be pearly kings and queens, lots of spam and red phone boxes, and a soundtrack from Chas 'n' Dave. Read more Jeremy Clarkson 
JEREMY CLARKSON Use electric car batteries to fix the energy crisis? You're having a laugh 
JEREMY CLARKSON Boris' spa honeymoon in Slovenia shows he's mad - he could be in Ibiza Because we know that's what Brexit people like. Unfortunately, we weren't charged with the task so instead what we got was an unfinished oil rig covered in plants where people could climb to an amphitheatre on the top deck and listen to the shipping forecast being played over and over again. Why would anyone want to do that? Other attractions? Well, inner-city kids would be taken on small boats into the Norfolk Broads at night where they could video themselves by lamp light. Oh, and this is a belter. Visitors would be told to close their eyes while they were given hallucinogenic experiences. Most read in The US Sun CUP RUNNETH OVER I'm a 28i-cup & tried Skims swim – my boobs were hanging over the edges WHAT THE TRUCK? STOP! Kardashian fans rip Kim for 'mocking' poor people in gas station pics OUT OF THIS WORLD! Kylie files trademarks for Stormi World & continues to snub newborn son HOUSE HORROR Teen Mom fans brand Cheyenne's newly-built LA mansion 'boring' and 'ugly' CASH BOOST Exact date Americans will receive new up to $1,500 direct payment by this month WINNING PLAN I'm a lottery strategist - avoid a common myth about scratchcards to win big Then afterwards, they'd be given crayons so they could draw what they'd seen. And the organisers weren't finished there. Because in Birmingham, they took our cash and created a festival of plants which would demonstrate to gardeners that they don't have to use colonial practices to get good results. What staggers me is that, today, there are people who think the railways and the energy companies should be nationalised. Are they mad? Do they really want the trains being operated by people who want to decolonialise rose bushes? Even the name of the festival was stupid. They called it "Unboxed" which only means something if you are a desperate and childless enthusiast of YouTube. Which Brexiteers aren't. So how do you think the project is going? Yes, you're quite right. They were expecting 66million visitors, which is not far short of absolutely everyone in Britain. And so far, the number of people who've passed through the turnstiles is 238,000. When I think about how much money has been wasted, my hair hurts and my teeth start to itch. And I can only hope and pray that the Government will learn from its mistakes, vow never to do anything like this ever again and hand over the stupid oil rig to a private company so they can put Robbie Williams on it. 
The private sector replaced the Blairite nonsense with Fleetwood Mac and Led Zeppelin and turned the Millennium Dome into a successRex WE RULE THE SKIES? IT'S A FLIGHT OF FANCY IT'S been argued for centuries that Britain rules the waves. But anyone gazing across the English Channel this week might dispute that as there, just a few miles off the Isle of Wight, was the Royal Navy's newest aircraft carrier, stricken and leaking. 
Bav MediaOne of the Red Arrows hit a pigeon and had to make an emergency landing, so maybe not '/ ' 
GettyIt really was a case of Hawk 0. Pigeon 0 '/ ' So what about the air? Certainly, we ruled the skies over southern England during the long, hot summer of 1940. But today? Well, one of the Red Arrows hit a pigeon and had to make an emergency landing, so maybe not. It really was a case of Hawk 0. Pigeon 0. I have nothing but respect for the people who serve in our Armed Forces and nothing but loathing for the bean-counters who give them equipment with leaky seals. And force them to do air displays in planes that were designed 52 years ago. A HORSE SEX LAW, REALLY? I WAS told this week about a 45-year-old Boeing engineer called Kenneth Pinyan, who one night asked some friends to record him as he became, let's say, romantically involved with a horse. Tragically, the intimate moment caused Mr Pinyan to suffer a ruptured colon, and later that night he died. What happened next typifies all that's wrong with Western governments, because in the aftermath of the case local officials in the US introduced a law which made it "illegal to have sex with an animal and to be videotaped while doing it". Why? Pretty well everyone already knows it's wrong. And those who don't aren't going to be dissuaded by an expensive new law that will need an even more expensive army of lawyers to enforce it. I LOVE Winnie the Pooh stories. I love the humour. I love the illustrations. And I love how everyone on Earth is like one of the characters – James May is Eeyore. 
Dan Jones - The SunJames May is Eeyore '/ ' 
Richard Hammond is Piglet Richard Hammond is Piglet. I'm Tigger. Sophie Raworth is Kanga and Jacob Rees-Mogg is Wol. I should therefore be horrified to hear that a new movie called Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey is soon to be released. But I'm not. It sees Pooh as a hammer-wielding thug who breaks into a mansion full of semi-naked girls. And I literally cannot wait. 
BBCSophie Raworth is Kanga '/ ' ONE of the problems with our desire to colonise Mars is that the atmosphere is 96 per cent carbon dioxide. Good for global warming. Not so good if you want to, you know, live. 
One of the problems with our desire to colonise Mars is that the atmosphere is 96 per cent carbon dioxideKobal Collection - Shutterstock Which is why the science community was very excited this week with the news that boffins have invented a machine that can turn carbon dioxide into oxygen. They say this could help astronauts survive on the red planet, and that's lovely. But since CO2 is also a problem on Earth, why don't we use the machine here first? BACK in the winter, West Norfolk Council received much praise when it announced it would fund a scheme to plant a small wood. But ecoists say they planted the trees at the wrong time of year and didn't water them in the drought, and now 90 per cent of them are dead. I'm sure the council has all sorts of excuses, but the fact is that I planted a couple of thousand trees a few years ago, and almost all of them are still alive. Because I spent my own money on the project. Governments don't. They spend someone else's. IGNORE TEDIOUS NIMBYS RUSSELL BRAND has applied for planning permission to turn a small shed into a recording studio where he can make podcasts. And immediately, all the red trouser people in the village started running around, waving their arms in the air and saying that sound travels down the valley and they don't want to have their weekends spoiled with loud music. 
GettyRussell Brand has applied for planning permission to turn a small shed into a recording studio where he can make podcasts '/ ' What loud music? It's a podcast he's making, not a Judas Priest album. Meanwhile, in Edinburgh, a phone mast, cleverly designed to look like a tree, has all the people in tartan trousers running around saying it looks like the wrong sort of tree. Read More on The Sun 
BEDDER I've got two daughters who have to share a room…so I used a budget Ikea hack This is madness and I really do think that we are reaching the point where planners should make decisions on what they think. And not be swayed by the lunatic ramblings of some Nimby neighbours.
SWNS, says Jeremy Clarkson '/ ' EPAIt was intended as a nationwide celebration of what Britain would look like after leaving the EU '/ ' It was a total disaster. Fewer than half the anticipated number of visitors turned up, so the building was handed over to the private sector who replaced the Blairite nonsense with Fleetwood Mac and Led Zeppelin and turned it into a success. After that, you'd imagine that the Government would never again be allowed to run "exciting" exhibitions that no one wants. 'Fraid not. Because they recently decided to take £120million of our money and use it to create the Festival Of Brexit, a nationwide celebration of what Britain would look like after leaving the EU. Now, if you or I were charged with the task of doing such a thing, there'd be pearly kings and queens, lots of spam and red phone boxes, and a soundtrack from Chas 'n' Dave. Read more Jeremy Clarkson JEREMY CLARKSON Use electric car batteries to fix the energy crisis? You're having a laugh JEREMY CLARKSON Boris' spa honeymoon in Slovenia shows he's mad - he could be in Ibiza Because we know that's what Brexit people like. Unfortunately, we weren't charged with the task so instead what we got was an unfinished oil rig covered in plants where people could climb to an amphitheatre on the top deck and listen to the shipping forecast being played over and over again. Why would anyone want to do that? Other attractions? Well, inner-city kids would be taken on small boats into the Norfolk Broads at night where they could video themselves by lamp light. Oh, and this is a belter. Visitors would be told to close their eyes while they were given hallucinogenic experiences. Most read in The US Sun CUP RUNNETH OVER I'm a 28i-cup & tried Skims swim – my boobs were hanging over the edges WHAT THE TRUCK? STOP! Kardashian fans rip Kim for 'mocking' poor people in gas station pics OUT OF THIS WORLD! Kylie files trademarks for Stormi World & continues to snub newborn son HOUSE HORROR Teen Mom fans brand Cheyenne's newly-built LA mansion 'boring' and 'ugly' CASH BOOST Exact date Americans will receive new up to $1,500 direct payment by this month WINNING PLAN I'm a lottery strategist - avoid a common myth about scratchcards to win big Then afterwards, they'd be given crayons so they could draw what they'd seen. And the organisers weren't finished there. Because in Birmingham, they took our cash and created a festival of plants which would demonstrate to gardeners that they don't have to use colonial practices to get good results. What staggers me is that, today, there are people who think the railways and the energy companies should be nationalised. Are they mad? Do they really want the trains being operated by people who want to decolonialise rose bushes? Even the name of the festival was stupid. They called it "Unboxed" which only means something if you are a desperate and childless enthusiast of YouTube. Which Brexiteers aren't. So how do you think the project is going? Yes, you're quite right. They were expecting 66million visitors, which is not far short of absolutely everyone in Britain. And so far, the number of people who've passed through the turnstiles is 238,000. When I think about how much money has been wasted, my hair hurts and my teeth start to itch. And I can only hope and pray that the Government will learn from its mistakes, vow never to do anything like this ever again and hand over the stupid oil rig to a private company so they can put Robbie Williams on it. The private sector replaced the Blairite nonsense with Fleetwood Mac and Led Zeppelin and turned the Millennium Dome into a successRex WE RULE THE SKIES? IT'S A FLIGHT OF FANCY IT'S been argued for centuries that Britain rules the waves. But anyone gazing across the English Channel this week might dispute that as there, just a few miles off the Isle of Wight, was the Royal Navy's newest aircraft carrier, stricken and leaking. Bav MediaOne of the Red Arrows hit a pigeon and had to make an emergency landing, so maybe not '/ ' GettyIt really was a case of Hawk 0. Pigeon 0 '/ ' So what about the air? Certainly, we ruled the skies over southern England during the long, hot summer of 1940. But today? Well, one of the Red Arrows hit a pigeon and had to make an emergency landing, so maybe not. It really was a case of Hawk 0. Pigeon 0. I have nothing but respect for the people who serve in our Armed Forces and nothing but loathing for the bean-counters who give them equipment with leaky seals. And force them to do air displays in planes that were designed 52 years ago. A HORSE SEX LAW, REALLY? I WAS told this week about a 45-year-old Boeing engineer called Kenneth Pinyan, who one night asked some friends to record him as he became, let's say, romantically involved with a horse. Tragically, the intimate moment caused Mr Pinyan to suffer a ruptured colon, and later that night he died. What happened next typifies all that's wrong with Western governments, because in the aftermath of the case local officials in the US introduced a law which made it "illegal to have sex with an animal and to be videotaped while doing it". Why? Pretty well everyone already knows it's wrong. And those who don't aren't going to be dissuaded by an expensive new law that will need an even more expensive army of lawyers to enforce it. I LOVE Winnie the Pooh stories. I love the humour. I love the illustrations. And I love how everyone on Earth is like one of the characters – James May is Eeyore. Dan Jones - The SunJames May is Eeyore '/ ' Richard Hammond is Piglet Richard Hammond is Piglet. I'm Tigger. Sophie Raworth is Kanga and Jacob Rees-Mogg is Wol. I should therefore be horrified to hear that a new movie called Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey is soon to be released. But I'm not. It sees Pooh as a hammer-wielding thug who breaks into a mansion full of semi-naked girls. And I literally cannot wait. BBCSophie Raworth is Kanga '/ ' ONE of the problems with our desire to colonise Mars is that the atmosphere is 96 per cent carbon dioxide. Good for global warming. Not so good if you want to, you know, live. One of the problems with our desire to colonise Mars is that the atmosphere is 96 per cent carbon dioxideKobal Collection - Shutterstock Which is why the science community was very excited this week with the news that boffins have invented a machine that can turn carbon dioxide into oxygen. They say this could help astronauts survive on the red planet, and that's lovely. But since CO2 is also a problem on Earth, why don't we use the machine here first? BACK in the winter, West Norfolk Council received much praise when it announced it would fund a scheme to plant a small wood. But ecoists say they planted the trees at the wrong time of year and didn't water them in the drought, and now 90 per cent of them are dead. I'm sure the council has all sorts of excuses, but the fact is that I planted a couple of thousand trees a few years ago, and almost all of them are still alive. Because I spent my own money on the project. Governments don't. They spend someone else's. IGNORE TEDIOUS NIMBYS RUSSELL BRAND has applied for planning permission to turn a small shed into a recording studio where he can make podcasts. And immediately, all the red trouser people in the village started running around, waving their arms in the air and saying that sound travels down the valley and they don't want to have their weekends spoiled with loud music. GettyRussell Brand has applied for planning permission to turn a small shed into a recording studio where he can make podcasts '/ ' What loud music? It's a podcast he's making, not a Judas Priest album. Meanwhile, in Edinburgh, a phone mast, cleverly designed to look like a tree, has all the people in tartan trousers running around saying it looks like the wrong sort of tree. Read More on The Sun BEDDER I've got two daughters who have to share a room…so I used a budget Ikea hack This is madness and I really do think that we are reaching the point where planners should make decisions on what they think. And not be swayed by the lunatic ramblings of some Nimby neighbours.
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